Such a simplistic question should be fairly simple to respond to right? Unfortunately, that is one question I dread these days. Its the unending roller coaster that is my stomach that dictates how my day will go food wise. One day, I can eat whatever and experience discomfort that is moderately tolerable and the next day, even water makes for good porcelain god worship.
I could handle not eating very much provided what I did eat stayed down. The violent bowel explosions, excruciating stomach pain and depression that comes from a disappointing meal attempt make it so difficult to even want to eat.
While I am enjoying the weight loss (40 lbs approx), the rapid loss scares me greatly and the lack of answers surrounding the issue worry me even more. Sure the label of 'IBS' (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) is fine but it doesn't quite engulf everything I endure on a daily basis. Add that to the Fibromyalgia, Meniere's Disease, Osteoarthritis and chronic Depression and you have the medical concoction that is my life.
I am well aware that there is no cure for any of the conditions and aware that medications only 'help' control the symptoms and 'slightly' ease the pain but really don't heal. The ongoing fight with government to get my 'disability' pension is wearing me down but I am not giving up. I know that work is not an option for me anymore. The amount of pain may vary from day-to-day but it is always there.
I wish that there was a magic wand that could make me and everyone else who suffers from Chronic Illnesses happily healed. Until then, I guess I'll just have to wait patiently ha ha and endure every day as it comes.
The sum of my pain does not define me as a person, I define myself as me. I just wish I knew what that definition was.
cheers
Showing posts with label symptoms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label symptoms. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Friday, November 04, 2011
Joys of Perimenopause
Sure, I love being a woman. I mean who wouldn't want to be a woman? We are the gentler species, the nurturers, the weaker sex. Ha, that is until your body decides to revolt against you. Night sweats, mood swings, unwanted hair growth or loss, weight gain, memory issues. Gees, it all sounds so wonderful doesn't it?
I have been having mild menopause symptoms since my tubal ligation when I was 29 but it has just been lately that the symptoms have become severe and problematic. The night sweats are easy to contend with for the most part but hot flashes are vile. They bring on yet more nausea and occasionally vomit. My entire body feels like I'm a volcano exploding into the coldness of space. I've always had a photographic memory and now forgetting the simplest of things is becoming scary and worrisome. No one should forget their next sentence mid-conversation, but somehow it happens quite often.
The worst by far is the mood swings. Spontaneous crying, fits of rage that would scare even The Creature from the Black Lagoon. The dumbest part of it all, is the lack of reasoning behind the rage or the tears. Commericals, movies, simple conversations with friends and family. I find that I'm much more anxious and paranoid then ever. I feel like I'm ready for a pretty white padded room some days.
Menopause wasn't something ever discussed in my house growing up. Sure I've seen a lot of women go through it but there was never any consistency in the symptoms or reactions. It is certainly not something you can use one brush to paint the picture with. Too many factors that vary from woman to woman make it near impossible to get or give good advice. What works for some, may not work for others. HRT (hormone replacement therapy) isn't an option for me because of an earlier breast cancer scare. So now my quest is on to find something that will help the symptoms but not add to my already lengthy medication list.
As if having chronic illness isn't bad enough. Now Mother Nature sees it fit to mess with my internal clock. My clock isn't ticking anymore, it's pounding trying to escape.
The journey into old ages continues........
I have been having mild menopause symptoms since my tubal ligation when I was 29 but it has just been lately that the symptoms have become severe and problematic. The night sweats are easy to contend with for the most part but hot flashes are vile. They bring on yet more nausea and occasionally vomit. My entire body feels like I'm a volcano exploding into the coldness of space. I've always had a photographic memory and now forgetting the simplest of things is becoming scary and worrisome. No one should forget their next sentence mid-conversation, but somehow it happens quite often.
The worst by far is the mood swings. Spontaneous crying, fits of rage that would scare even The Creature from the Black Lagoon. The dumbest part of it all, is the lack of reasoning behind the rage or the tears. Commericals, movies, simple conversations with friends and family. I find that I'm much more anxious and paranoid then ever. I feel like I'm ready for a pretty white padded room some days.
Menopause wasn't something ever discussed in my house growing up. Sure I've seen a lot of women go through it but there was never any consistency in the symptoms or reactions. It is certainly not something you can use one brush to paint the picture with. Too many factors that vary from woman to woman make it near impossible to get or give good advice. What works for some, may not work for others. HRT (hormone replacement therapy) isn't an option for me because of an earlier breast cancer scare. So now my quest is on to find something that will help the symptoms but not add to my already lengthy medication list.
As if having chronic illness isn't bad enough. Now Mother Nature sees it fit to mess with my internal clock. My clock isn't ticking anymore, it's pounding trying to escape.
The journey into old ages continues........
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