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Saturday, March 31, 2012

Chronic Illness Update

March 31, 2012

This past week has been quite taxing emotionally and physically. Two trips to Vancouver General Hospital in as many days for yet more testing.

My balance is 'officially' fucked. Two separate doctors referred to me as being 'weird'. (big shocker there) It would seem that Meniere's Disease is the least of my worries. I have what is called 'Hyperacusis'.  It's an acute sensitivity to everyday noises and sounds. With hyperacusis, regular sounds that everyone hears on a daily basis cause me great strife and anguish. 

The condition is thought to come from trauma. Who knew that years of sitting on large speakers at concerts and dances would come back to bite me in the ass?

A wonderful experience having this round of tests. NOT! The balance test alone was excruciating and left me in a state of nausea for an entire day. The injection of water 8c above and 8c below body temp into the ears was in a word, special.  Already dizzy, this test is to see just how off kilter my brain is when it comes to my balance.  

My hearing although not significantly lower than last checked, it has become problematic. Talking on the telephone can be tricky when the other person is soft-spoken. Misunderstood words can cause issues and I'm ashamed to admit that I have trouble understanding some people including very close friends.

I find that I am relying on the reading of lips when in a large group to make sure I am 'up' to the current level of conversation.

There is no cure, just a myriad of treatments both invasive and benign. I am resigned to the fact that my eventuality will be deafness. I can certainly compensate with my writing prowess. What troubles me is the eventual loss of hearing melodic sounds of music, the beauty of my child's voice and ability to fit into the mainstream world.

Everything happens for a reason, I know that. I understand that. Most of all, I accept that.

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